Coffee Sips with Kate #3

Did you read my latest coffee sips with Kate? 

What was your favorite fun fact …Well, there was one in there that surprises people the most (even ones super close to me) I was proposed too before - but said no! 

 

That’s right- this girl might not know what it’s like to walk down the aisle but I do know a thing or two about experiencing a proposal. Mine, however, was not the way I dreamt of as a little girl. It was actually pretty much a disaster from start to finish. 

 

If you can’t tell already- my past is filled with some major relationship no no’s. I share them & laugh along with you so you don’t have to endure the same brutal moments. These are also moments in time that have shaped the woman & entrepreneur I am today. 

learn from my mistakes babes & bros. Take this rant as a funny real-life checklist of the DO NOTS of a proposal. 

1. To all the best friends out there, this first one is for you! As a best friend, you will probably get told before the proposal happens. Do not be the friend that gets drunk at a music festival, calls your soon to be proposed to friend to tell her “something huge is about to happen and I really want to tell you but know I shouldn’t." Then proceeded to tell her every detail. Whether I wanted the ring or not it ruined an intimate moments a proposal should have. If I wanted the engagement I would have been really sad to have it ruined. He was really hurt because he did put time, effort & thought into the night. For a very unromantic guy, it was going to be a very romantic proposal. However, it was not the proposal I ended up having. Instead, it caused one of the more epic fights & disastrous of weekends I have ever face in my life.

2. Which leads me to my next point. Don’t propose to someone mid-fight & say, “well fuck it at this point, will you marry me” then toss the ring to your hopefully soon to be future wife. This is a huge no - thought it would be an obvious no no but seeing as it happened to me, it clearly happens! To give the guy some credit, the ring was absolutely stunning, almost made me say yes.  Black & white diamonds flown in from Italy. But back to the real point, make your partner feel special in the moment & “fuck it at this point” shouldn’t be in the romantic speech. 

3.  PSA point 3: if your partner gets down on their knee (or tosses the ring) to you and you say no, stick with no. You said it for a reason. Do not be like me and say no than say maybe because you feel bad. Don’t be like me. Don’t say maybe. It’s awkward. It’s uncomfortable. It’s not genuine. If you say maybe you really mean no. I knew it was a no, I said no then took it back.... which is actually worse! 

Break up, move out & move on.  listen to your gut - its mostly always right. 

4. Finally & listen closely because this is the most important - do not go in the romantic trip together that was going to be the real place of the engagement proposal, stay in the honeymoon suite, do the couple massages, the romantic dinners. I’m telling you only bad things will happen.

oh yeah if the guy is a real dick head like my ex was, don’t be like me... don’t give the ring back. Keep it, sell it & TREAT YO SELF because if you had to deal with an ex anything like mine, and put up with years of hurt and pain, you deserve that and way-way more! 

My major take away on this rant it: trust your heart, gut, the little voice in your head, whatever you want to call it. It knows you the most. It does not pretend, it doesn't lie. It is your authentic self, listen its trying to tell you what you already know. 

I was once told a proposal would be the easiest question you’ll ever have to answer. And I didn’t believe her. I thought it would take a lot of time & consideration. But no, she was right. Even though I loved this kid, he was my first love, when the question was popped (and when my friend told me) I immediately knew. I knew I wasn’t ready & he was not ready. I knew our relationship was turmoil and abusive. I knew at that moment he was not my soulmate. I knew in the bottom of my heart it wasn’t the path I needed to go down. I knew I would have to do one of the hardest things & say no. Even though we didn’t break up right away, not marrying him was the best decision I made in that relationship - well second - first was dumping his ass. It is one of the more proud moments I am of myself. It is always extremely hard to hurt someone you deeply loved, it would have been easier to say yes and hurt myself. But I decided to put myself first. 


The fun fact about why I choice west photo for this post is that West's ex dads this ex…. See everything has a way of working out. I might not have gotten to keep the ring but I got my baby instead!